let's get drunk taishos

[time5kip]

Who: TAISHOS
Where: TAISHO
When: 486 post game

[ What better way to spend points for a victory than to buy booze? Absolutely none. So here he is ready to get wasted ]

All right if you've got anything to say, you guys have 30 minutes to tell me anything of importance. After that I definitely won't be sober.

Comments

[temperedinpride]

How strange it must be to face something you once rejected so strongly and know it as part of yourself.

And yet, is not coming to accept that part of you important? Not to hate it but to embrace what you have gone through and overcome?

[He's genuinely just asking.]

[auguryofinnocence]

Hm... When I lost the rest of myself and became human, I realised just how worthless I always was. That all my pride and bravado had been pointless because I did not even want to be alive. There was nothing that made me glad to be, or that would bring any meaning to it. I was only torturing myself because I could not stand to lose and there was not a single moment since my mother died that made it worthwhile.

Yet even realising that, I immediately kept trying to survive. I am glad that I remained so stubborn, of course. But I don't know if that is "embracing what I have overcome". I am just glad that I am here now. To be proud of everything... I don't know. I don't exactly feel good about it. I suppose it involves some amount of feeling sorry for myself, and I do not like that.

[temperedinpride]

[He strokes Vergil's hair, gazing up at him.]

Is it not fine? To acknowledge your own hardships and even feel sorry for yourself. All that has led you to a current happiness. The things you would once have rejected and the things you valued to the point of stubborn, spiteful existence, all part of this man I love.

Seeing your weak and frail humanity struggling to survive, needing help and being ignorant, and yet you persisted. Perhaps it is hard for you to witness, but to me it is just a testament of the strength of your determination. A reassuring thing.

[auguryofinnocence]

It certainly does speak to determination, yes. That is the part I am proud of, proof that I am capable of anything, as I know myself to be regardless.

And if it is endearing to you to witness that, as you do seem to enjoy every time, I am glad. Perhaps that makes me appreciate it a little more myself. But it does feel like a crushing weight to see these things. I was wrong about only needing power, yes, but to be so weak is still terrifying and painful.

...I suppose it is that it highlights that I had nothing and achieved nothing. That just makes me feel pathetic. And I am more inclined to be critical of my shortcomings than anything more kind or indulgent.

[temperedinpride]

That is normal. Judging yourself more harshly. Especially for a man of your pride. Yet can you not see it from my perspective a moment? Admire your perseverance and stubbornness. Even with nothing, even in humiliation, and struggle and ignorance, the will to live is beautiful to me.

[auguryofinnocence]

Well. I am glad you think so, I like to know that I have impressed you. And as I said, it is easy to be impressed myself, when I have watched it as Raven's memories. I suppose that is just the reason we have a hard time communicating properly.

[temperedinpride]

Is it?

[auguryofinnocence]

Mm, that he expects me to look down on him and reject him for being weak, but it is only when I am too aware that any such qualities are from me. ...So we both take our self-hatred out on one another while really admiring the other. Or something like that. If I say that I hate being weak, he hears "I hate you", but it is not quite the same thing. I would direct just as much ire at the other half if he was around too, I'm sure.

[temperedinpride]

Have you worked out with him, explained it in such a way?

[auguryofinnocence]

[He nods.]

Yes, or I have tried to anyway. I think he understands, mostly. In practice, I suppose I would also take it as a personal attack. I doubt it is possible to ever fully avoid offending each other, but I think it is improving.

[temperedinpride]

I imagine it helps that you are so possessive of one another.

[auguryofinnocence]

Are we?

[He's possessive of everyone he loves, even putting every other reason aside, so obviously yes? But look. Vergils are dumb.]

[temperedinpride]

Quite? And he of you.

[auguryofinnocence]

...I am protective, and he is part of me after all, so I suppose that is going to come with some inherent possessiveness. The reverse would be somewhat more toward envy, I would think.



Or were you being threatened more than the initial distrust I was aware of?

[temperedinpride]

I believe he was fully willing, and still is, to attempt to murder me should I wound you.

[auguryofinnocence]

...Oh. You would destroy him.

[That's cute. Very sweet.]

Should I tell him any grievance I've ever had?

[temperedinpride]

I rather thought you wanted him to survive, dear? I suppose I can merely go easy on him for any attempts.

But I am sure he would be delighted to be confided to so.

[auguryofinnocence]

I do, I just think it's cute. From both of you.

And given that he is also me, would you really be able to bring yourself to kill him? You said you want to collect Vergils, right?

[temperedinpride]

Of course I could not do him lasting harm.

[auguryofinnocence]

You see. Cute. You might also feel such temptation to set another Lahabrea against me.

But really that is all to say that I can be very proud, if all that stubbornness impresses you.

[temperedinpride]

You should be proud!

[auguryofinnocence]

That's what I said! I'm very stubborn! And spiteful and arrogant! And I will accomplish anything I so choose! So you should be thoroughly impressed because I am remarkable!

[temperedinpride]

[He's so charmed!]

I am impressed and you are remarkable. My beautiful, stubborn, wilful husband.

[auguryofinnocence]

That's right. And don't forget that if that is how hard I fight for something I do not even care for, then the extent I would go to for you or to remain with you is something truly unimaginable.

Well, perhaps you can grasp the scope of it.

[Would he go full Ascian just to make sure he gets to have Lahabrea? Yeah.]

[temperedinpride]

[Oh. His heart skips and his cheeks go a little pink.]

Yes. I suppose I am one of the few who could truly imagine the lengths you might go to. And how marvelous and tragic it would be if you were forced to such lengths.