mingle (memory)

[widenessofthesea]

Who: Idols (with and without memories)
Where: Wherever in Tokyo-F
When: Day 358

[ also, maybe some of you want some memories? ]

Comments

[gigadevilbreaker]

[He muses,]

Even when you had nothing, you still had power over your own body. Especially after all those months of discovering what feels good, how you want it to look... the things you wanna do with it, for you and other people.

That makes sense. You've always discovered things physically.

[rollplayinghouse]

Yeah. And all of that was... ripped away from me. Literally.

So I guess it makes sense that it all still feels kind of... raw, and tenuous. That's how you've always felt about your arm, right?

[gigadevilbreaker]

Yeah. Especially since-- when my arm changed, I didn't want it. It felt like a curse, something that'd get me run out of town for being a freak. I didn't want it t'be a part of me... but it was.

Then I learned t'accept it. Embrace it, even - and anyone who judged me could go screw themselves. I went through a lot with that arm...

Replacing it with a cheap fake... I'd always know it wasn't mine.

[rollplayinghouse]

I see.

[she looks at her prosthetic again]

Intensity made this for me, when... the first time I lost an arm. It got healed at the end of that game, but... Mm, it felt better to get this one again than whatever grew back from that acid.

It still feels better, I think... than replacing it with one from the store. But I'm trying to tell how much of that is just that I'm tired of being taken apart and put back together again.

[gigadevilbreaker]

Well, it was made by someone important. You still kept your scars from that game where you killed him, too.

[rollplayinghouse]

...That was different. That was about... not wanting to wipe it away like it never happened, when it was... one of the few things I've done that I regret.

This is just about... it being about something, I guess. It's not mine, exactly, but it's something with significance.

It's a liability, though... If it breaks or malfunctions there's nothing I can do about it myself. And really, this place has probably replaced my whole body a few times over by now...

[gigadevilbreaker]

I mean, you could say the same about a normal arm. Ain't like ZRAEL has any healing moves, and anything that could break metal could also break bone.

But it's true that fin could probably make you punch yourself in the face.

[rollplayinghouse]

It could also short-circuit or something. And I at least know more first aid than I do electronics... and I know how normal arms are meant to behave, and how my arm moves, exactly...

...I don't know. I guess it's just still not my arm. But I'm not sure what would be, anymore.

It would be cool to have demon powers. I mean, for a lot of reasons, not just that.

[gigadevilbreaker]

Maybe you don't have to think of it as an arm. Think of it like your favourite weapon.

Maybe it's not part of you, but it's your partner. A tool you rely on and maintain - and even personalize. No reason why you couldn't customize that arm like your staff.

[rollplayinghouse]

...I'm still not really used to treating weapons like that either, I guess. Like more than convenient interchangeable tools.

But you're right. I'm sure there are a lot of things I could do with it.