imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Wild City and pack???
Where: Wild City, yo
When: POST... GAME.... and on. Late 240?

[so everyone is limping home from a game they won.

it's fine!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Things were really weird in the past and I regret letting them stay that way for so long. I'd like to work toward changing them.

I think things were weird for us with most teams. People only liked me and Silver for a long time.

[ Pauses for a moment, then. ]

... The 'you guys are different from the rest of your team' kind of thing?

[ Nodding ]

As if everyone else somehow knew our unitmates better than we did.

Mmm... as someone who's faced that from the 'rest of the team' aspect, it's really just people who wanna generalize a whole team by one or two people and give no further thought than that.

I don't think it is only that. I have heard similar things from B even though he often advised me to consider people as individuals. He's never said it so plainly....but it is clear he thinks that I'm better than most of my unit.

Mmm... I think it's more just... expectations? Like... he pretty much loathes violence. But for a lot of people here, it's just a natural part of communication, or daily life, or such. And a large majority aren't really mindful toward his preferences, even though he tries to be incredibly tolerant of theirs.

... That's kind of a specific example, and not Wild City specific, but I know it's a thing that makes him nervous around a lot of people in general. And can probably be applied to plenty of others?

I can understand that, but it is still...

[ Frowns and worries at his lip for a moment, thinking ]

If I were much younger than I am now, I would have as difficult a time with understanding what...a pacifist's boundaries are. It is a skill to be able to recognize and understand those things without being told directly what is expected of us. Most teams have little patience for people like us.

Mm, it's an unfortunate reality, that's just worsened by the games that pit us against each other. The motivation to learn more about people you barely know or need to interact with is slim to none.

[ Huffs softly, deflating a little ]

... I know. I just want them to have the chances that I was allowed.

... I think lives help, honestly? I've... had discomforts with Taisho in the past myself, but I've been making an effort to show up at their lives and get to know their members more.