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(no subject)

Who: ZRAEL and u
Where: zrael dorm
When: Day 115, nightish to Day 116, whenever, whatever is most easy for us all in weird timelock zones.

[We won a game, huzzah! Night 115 is when Pharaoh is coming back to the unit with a pink sensitiv sweater wrapped around his waist because his clothes went missing.

But day 116, he's got clothes again, hooray. HOW ARE YOU ALL?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think "a bit" is underselling it, dude.

...

You guys all have the weirdest freakin' kinks.

Yeah, it's pretty weird. But it's not a problem or anything.

He couldn't even heal you before you walk o' shamed yourself back home?

He tried, but it wasn't a serious enough injury.

[ ... sighs

and makes some room on the beanbag, patting it ]

[flops down]

Anyway, it's not gonna happen again. We agreed we'd keep things strictly platonic from now on.

I don't actually believe you that much but I trust you, so.

It's true, we had a big conversation about it and all. Lots of feelings.

Hmmmmmm we'll see.

[ ... drapes on him a bit ]

You're not still worried, are you?

I mean. I don't trust him in any capacity, much less in one that involves someone I love. So.

...

He loves me too, y'know.

And he still hurt you.

So clearly that doesn't mean that much to him.

What, you think loving someone means never hurting them? That's not how it works.

It's PRETTY easy not to physically hurt people you love.

Accidentally is one thing but...

Edited 2019-05-16 15:29 (UTC)

...Maybe it's just different because we're both Servants. Hurting each other is the reason we exist in the first place.

[ huffs. ]

Maybe...

[shruggo]

Sorry.

You don't gotta apologize for anything.

It's not all his fault even if you want it to be.

...

...

[very, very calmly]

It's not like I don't get it. Nothing's more natural than wanting a villain to hate. If he's evil and crazy and everything is his fault, that lets you think I'm good and blameless. And you want to think that because you love me.

Right?

I don't think you're good or blameless. I don't think I'm good or blameless.

I just hate him.

Because he's done shitty things, right. He's hurt people. But you don't hate me.

Because you actually take the things I care about into account, when I ask you to. And your-- whole thing, you want to kill everyone because you hate them, that's fine. That's how you are.

If he wants to hurt and kill people to make people hate him even though he says stuff like how he hates hurting or killing-- that makes him scum. Even if he's like you, and can't change how he is, he's no better than a rabid animal, and even if I understood him, I would still hate him.

If I asked him to consider the people I care about-- if I told him no-- he wouldn't listen at all. But you do.