(no subject)

[rollwillpowercheck]

Who: sensitIV
Where: sensitIV
When: Day 63, afternoon

[Hello, sensitIV!

There's tea at the kotatsu. There's also Anubis. The sensitIV group chat received a message from him earlier saying that he had some things he wanted to discuss with the unit and asking if everyone could come to the dorms later.]

Comments

[criminaljustice]

[ALSO A KNOCK KNOCK. bruised-from-fight Bad Ender here to talk?

spoilers: it's not about the bruises. fuck the bruises, they build character]

[rollwillpowercheck]

[opening the door...]

Oh, Boss-san. Hello. Are you okay...?

[criminaljustice]

Yeah, fine.

[he is not fine but like. working on it. waves off the concern.]

I'm not here for a healing. I'm actually hoping to talk with you guys about what happened during the last game?

[rollwillpowercheck]

... something happened? Um, sure, feel free to come in.

[guess who wasn't told anything.]

[criminaljustice]

[well... this is going to be awkward.

even with Nine-Nine's assurances uhhh... yeahhhh...]

Yeah... and thanks. I figured... it's best to settle things as best as we can before it lingers too long. Or at least come to some kind of way of working things out.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[looking increasingly alarmed]

I missed something big, didn't I.

[criminaljustice]

[sighs, tired and like he knows this is not going to go well for him.]

This is just making it sound worse, not that it's great to begin with... but. Your new girl and I were paired up during a round.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[nods, like "go on"...]

[criminaljustice]

First, she tried to barter your unit's healing abilities to get me to agree to take the hit. When I told her Bad End was likely to not do well, that we'd need the healing, and that I'd only recently recovered from pretty bad maiming that you guys had just fixed up--and with how things were going because of the Peppep live... I didn't want to take that for granted.

I offered up to... play a game or something? To see who could go forward. To make it a little more fair. I know you guys do pretty well in games, but Bad End's had a string of bad luck and it's... not been good. So I just wanted at least a chance at it. But, she refused. And told me she wasn't in any way going to hit the button unless I agreed to her hitting it and my taking the hit.

That's around when she started to threaten me, saying she'd talk with you guys about withholding healing, accusing me of murdering her if I hit the button. So I hit it.

I'm fine if you guys do determine that that action warrants withholding of healing. Or if you want to... I dunno. Take back? Some of the healings that you've provided, or have me pay in some way or another--just, I don't want Bad End to get caught up in this. Please.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[give him a moment to digest all that...]

Let me get this straight. You're offering to let us undo healing on you, because you don't want us to refuse to heal Bad End?

[criminaljustice]

... I'm offering whatever I can to make it right. Or easier.

I'm not. Especially happy. About someone trying to strong-arm me into agreeing to take a hit. But I know doing what I did wasn't the best call either.

So if you guys want punishment for that decision, then I'll take it. Or if you want to revoke privileges... just not from the rest of Bad End. I know that's selfish because it's not equal but I still...

[he bussed your girl to try to spare them but please don't take it out on them???]

[rollwillpowercheck]

[oh my god]

You seriously-- aside from Hera-san making claims that, let me remind you, I didn't know about until you just told me about them... when has sensitIV ever given any indication that every single one of us would refuse to heal a single individual, much less an entire team?!

[criminaljustice]

[tmw you recognize you're fucking it up and you just want to be put out of your misery. just...

rubbing a hand over his face, sighing.]

... I might be... a little messed up. From a number of things. And I might be panicking over nothing--Nine-Nine said I was, but I just... after peppep's live, I'm a little freaked out. That something like that got threatened in the first place.

Which isn't your fault--but I didn't know who all she's talked to or what she's said and I just... wanted to make my case clear.

... even if I'm pretty shitty about it.

Sorry. I didn't... mean to say that about sensitIV, you guys have been... really good about it but it just... freaked me out.

[he's been freaking out for like three days, please be gentle???]

[rollwillpowercheck]

...

[visibly trying to calm himself down.]

Okay, first? My suggestion is not to lead with a genuinely insulting assumption about the people you're throwing yourself on the mercy of next time. I mean-- even if I agreed that what happened was grounds for me to refuse to heal you, do you really think I would say, oh, okay, if Nine gets mauled, not only am I going to let him suffer, I'm fine with the rest of my unit doing that too? Or Sanguine-san? Or-- or any of you?

I get that you're... freaked out, but that... it hurts.

[criminaljustice]

... I wasn't thinking clearly.

You're right. It's not a very rational thought. I'm sorry. I'm not being very rational... and I don't really think that of you or Santa or Lucifel or Persephone... or, more accurately... I'm worried of ever pushing you guys too far and I know I've been angry about new Bad Ends getting targeted... though we've never done anything about it.

[scared more than worried but like. that's probably paranoia]

[rollwillpowercheck]

... you really have been freaking out, haven't you.

[sighs]

I don't think it counts as targeting when it's a game shoving the two of you in a room together... and it's not like you went straight for the button. It sounds like both of you made offers, but they, well, didn't work out. That's... it's not okay, but it's not, you know, malicious. Obviously Hera-san can individually refuse to heal you or anyone else, though. But that's just her decision.

[criminaljustice]

... okay.

[trying to. calm down the Oh Shit I Fucked Up feelings.]

Yeah, okay... I'm trying to work through some things. Which included talking this out with you guys, even if I'm handling it badly. I know it's not really assuring to have someone come at you with all of this but... that you're willing to hear me out even when it doesn't make a lot of sense... it does mean a lot.

And I'll... work on things on my end. So I don't freak out like this again.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[slowly]

I hope... this helped, then. I don't mind trying to help put your worries to rest, and I get being overwhelmed and losing it a little. I just-- I was surprised. There's a lot of people on your unit who are important to me, you know? I don't want you feeling like you can't trust sensitIV. Or me.

[criminaljustice]

... yeah. It... kinda does.

[awkward pause.]

I think it actually helps me differentiate. I've been thinking, lately... that there's still something from a game that's been affecting me. And I think--I think I figured out what it was.

So I can... differentiate between what I think and... well, what. Someone else? Thought?

[hint hint: Bad End's ghost of vengeance's memory was fucked up and it's been fucking him up for. a while.]

... I don't know if that's reassuring or more worrying but. I think it does help, yeah.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[is... is this like with Lucifel]

A game. Do you mean... with the ghosts, or...?

[floriographys]

[You know what's funny??? When you have a knife fight with someone and then someone else with their face comes to visit you, looking beat up.

But Nya actually likes the guy who he knife fought now so he's just going to confusedly look at Boss for a bit.]

You look... different somehow.

[criminaljustice]

[you should see the other guy

but also thank god for Anubis talking him down from a bit of a panic. a lot. calmer. now.]

... think you might have me confused for Mars.

[he sure has not met you before]

[floriographys]

Oh! Right. You must be Boss, then.

[The one that Hera told him about. Hm! Yes, he could see how making him beg would be fun. Nya giggles a little at the thought.]

You coming to see Hera?

[criminaljustice]

[so you definitely gave away that she told you]

... no. I thought I'd talk to the rest of sensitIV about things.

[floriographys]

[Thankfully, it's not a secret!]

Well, here we are. You can... talk if that is what you want to do?