. . . I cannot dare say. I feel too ashamed, and I do not want you to think poorly of me as a good example and a senpai.

[ He sighs. ]

I have violated beliefs I felt were important to uphold and feel embarrassed for having done so. And simply feel more lonely as a result. My ancestors must be rolling around in their graves in complete dismay.

[ . . . . Perhaps even his father. But he doesn't want to think about THAT at all. ]