I am doing my best. I realized I wanted to form some meaningful relationships, but that's when those feelings struck me and made things entirely too complicated. Before all of that I had been nothing more than a killing machine. That had been my intended purpose. It's what I was created for and... it... still is, I suppose, but I've just evolved a bit...

[ a halfhearted laugh. ] I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want something I'm not sure I deserve, because I can always fall back into bad habits. It's happened once before and it can always happen again...