I don't want you to put your feelings aside to help me! I've told you that a million times, but you don't ever listen! You just decide you're clearly doing something wrong, and if you just ignore your feelings harder and do things Righter, everything will somehow be okay! And that's what you're trying to do now! And what you're trying to tell me to do, too!

But I don't want that. Nothing will ever be totally okay. I just want us to both care about each other's feelings, and talk about them. Work together, and work through them. Figure out things we both want, and do them. The reason it feels like you don't care is that it sounds like being reassured you're not failing me is more important to you than even knowing what my problem is.