(no subject)

[mywife]

Who: ZRAEL and u
Where: zrael dorm
When: Day 115, nightish to Day 116, whenever, whatever is most easy for us all in weird timelock zones.

[We won a game, huzzah! Night 115 is when Pharaoh is coming back to the unit with a pink sensitiv sweater wrapped around his waist because his clothes went missing.

But day 116, he's got clothes again, hooray. HOW ARE YOU ALL?]

Comments

[stakesthesame]

[ huffs. ]

Maybe...

[avestan]

[shruggo]

Sorry.

[stakesthesame]

You don't gotta apologize for anything.

[avestan]

It's not all his fault even if you want it to be.

[stakesthesame]

...

[avestan]

...

[very, very calmly]

It's not like I don't get it. Nothing's more natural than wanting a villain to hate. If he's evil and crazy and everything is his fault, that lets you think I'm good and blameless. And you want to think that because you love me.

Right?

[stakesthesame]

I don't think you're good or blameless. I don't think I'm good or blameless.

I just hate him.

[avestan]

Because he's done shitty things, right. He's hurt people. But you don't hate me.

[stakesthesame]

Because you actually take the things I care about into account, when I ask you to. And your-- whole thing, you want to kill everyone because you hate them, that's fine. That's how you are.

If he wants to hurt and kill people to make people hate him even though he says stuff like how he hates hurting or killing-- that makes him scum. Even if he's like you, and can't change how he is, he's no better than a rabid animal, and even if I understood him, I would still hate him.

If I asked him to consider the people I care about-- if I told him no-- he wouldn't listen at all. But you do.

[avestan]

...Okay.

[doesn't sound happy about it]

Not like I'd have any reason to defend him even if he wanted me to.

[stakesthesame]

[ ... frowns ]

So just tell me what you're thinking anyway.

[avestan]

What's the point? Nothing I say is gonna change your mind.

[stakesthesame]

... Does it have to change my mind? Understanding where you're coming from is fine, too, I think.

[avestan]

...I dunno if you'll understand either, though.

[stakesthesame]

I mean, I'm an idiot, so that makes sense, but... does it hurt to try?

[avestan]

...

He's the only one who gets it. He's the only one who doesn't expect me to be anything other than what I am.

[stakesthesame]

[ just... thinks that over for a moment.

and sighs. ]

Okay.

[avestan]

[just shrugs uncomfortably]

[stakesthesame]

I get it.

[avestan]

Mmh. Yeah.

[stakesthesame]

... what's wrong?

[avestan]

...Nothing. Don't worry about it.

[stakesthesame]

I'm worried about it.

[avestan]

Well, don't be.

[stakesthesame]

It's too late! I'm a thousand years old and FULL OF FEELINGS, I'm UNSTOPPABLE, it can't be helped!